chatter

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

mike: *massages your shoulders* okay champ!
swifty: mmmmmmmm
swifty: that's niiiiiiiice
mike: you better get back in there, because this day is putting up a fight! but it's weak, it's tiring, it's not got the cajoles to stand up to you, because you're the king! you hear me?
mike: now get out there and punch it out!
swifty: your hands are magic
swifty: you're a magician
mike: LATER
mike: fight first, sensual massage second!
mike: you know that's how i roll!
swifty: OK
swifty: I'M IN THIS
swifty: I CAN DO IT
mike: GO GET 'EM TIGER
mike: *slaps your ass*
swifty: (STARTS PUNCHING A PHONE BOOTH)
mike: that's my boy!
mike: *phone booth falls and crushes swifty*
swifty: ITS OK
swifty: I'M OK
mike: CAN YOU FIGHT?
mike: *holds towel* I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY FIGHTER
swifty: (TRANSFORMS INTO ROBOT)
swifty: OH HELL YES I CAN FIGHT
mike: DROPKICK.BAT
mike: EXECUTE!
swifty: HURFFFFF

[ ]

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

swifty: is because matt garber pointed out, and rightly so, that a video game website needs to have a forum where angry 15 year-olds can hang out and yell at each other
mike: i don't! :/
swifty: that is fine!
swifty: i will poke the internet gently with a stick
swifty: and try to turn over some rocks
mike: i will try and figure it out
swifty: FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER:
swifty: mike: hey, did you find that forum software
swifty: swifty: WHAT I'M NOT LOOKING AT PORN GO AWAY
swifty: GET OUT OF HERE, MOM
mike: hahaha
swifty: did i ever tell you about that
swifty: when my mom walked in on me, uh, "rolling the croissant"
swifty: not that you want to hear this!
mike: hahaa, it wouldn't surprise me
swifty: i was like GET THE HELL OUT
swifty: and she started asking me questions
swifty: like "do you do this a lot? when did you -- "
swifty: and i was all I AM HOLDING MY PIECE IN MY HAND, KINDLY LET ME PUT PANTS ON
swifty: and then i jumped out the window
swifty: you know
swifty: now that i think about it
swifty: that isn't a very good story
swifty: unless i tell it in person
swifty: online it just sounds creepy
swifty: I SWEAR IT'S FUNNY
swifty: (sweats)
swifty: (audience is silent)

[ ]

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

swifty: I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE GOOD AT DRAWING
swifty: LIKE TWO YEARS AGO
swifty: AND NOW LOOK
swifty: YOU'RE WAY BETTER THAN ME
swifty: AND I AM JEALOUS
mike: hahaha
mike: NO WAY
swifty: YES WAY
mike: swifty you rock at drawing. you are all DRAW DRAW DRAW A+
mike: and the kids are smiling. THEY SMILE FOR YOUR ART
swifty: hahaha
swifty: which kids!
mike: OUR KIDS
swifty: WAIT WHAT
mike: i show them the pictures and tell them that DADDY DIED IN THE SHUTTLE DISASTER
mike: what was i supposed to say? that you ABANDONED ME after our night of passion?
swifty: HA HA HA HA HA
mike: and MARIO VOICES?
swifty: JFLKSGSLG
swifty: oh my god
swifty: how much are we going to use the mario voice
mike: SO MUCH
swifty: THE ANSWER IS SO MUCH

[ ]

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

swifty: did you draw that?
mike: i did!
swifty: it's AMAZING
swifty: holy crap
mike: haha, yeah?
swifty: when did you become AMAZING
mike: :)
mike: it's a work in progress, but it's pretty close to finished
mike: i'll show you some more!
swifty: awesome!
swifty: i've seen the rollercoaster one
mike: oh right
swifty: man you're all multitalented
mike: did you see the stimpy one?
swifty: you're going to be able to waltz into places
swifty: and be (NO) like HEY GIVE ME A JOB
swifty: I CAN DO EVERYTHING
swifty: and they'll be like "okay can you beat up zangief"
swifty: and you'll be like EVERYTHING EXCEPT THAT
mike: hahaha
swifty: HE WRESTLES BEARS

[ ]

Sunday, July 11, 2004

buffy: sorry for the delay! i had to go PEE
mike: hahaha
mike: in that case I AM SORRY.
buffy: what are you sorry for!
mike: not giving a lady the time to pee!
mike: also: i was the second gunman on the grassy knoll
mike: sorry about that america!
buffy: ....
buffy: yes. you should be sorry
mike: all i have to do is mention bombs now and i'll have triggered enough marked words to have an fbi unit bust in here and take me away
mike: *looks around nervously*
buffy: bombs
mike: NO!
buffy: grenades
mike: *ducks and covers*
mike: ...
mike: phew. false alar*FBI UNIT BREAKS THROUGH WINDOW*
mike: *mike is arrested and taken into custody*
mike: *is being interrogated*
mike: *attempts not to be broken by good cop/bad cop routine*
buffy: *waits patiently*
mike: *is released due to lack of evidence*
mike: *walks home*
mike: *returns to computer*
mike: hi! sorry about that
buffy: YEAH
mike: well hey! it's your fault!
mike: you said bombs!
mike: ..OH SHI*FBI UNIT BREAKS THROUGH WINDOW*
mike: END.

[ ]

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

peter: just seen the new harry potter film and a little part of me died inside
mike: haha
peter: it really was that bad
mike: that's fantastic

[ ]

Friday, May 28, 2004

mike: so, shall i send the picture?
swifty: yes!
swifty: firstly, because now i am curious
swifty: and secondly, because i love boobies
mike: haha, well curiousity is good!
mike: and BOOBIES ARE AWESOME
swifty: (RIDICULOUS GUITAR SOLO)
swifty: (GOING ON FOR TOO LONG, FAR PAST ITS USE)
mike: *audience gets bored*
swifty: (GUITARIST SWEATING)
mike: *ONE LONELY ROCKER RAISES A FIST AND HEADBANGS*
swifty: S/ROCKER/MOTHER
mike: hahaha
mike: oh my god
mike: ROCKER MOM

[ ]

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

taylor: so. hows that sleepin comin' along?
mike: haha
mike: it is knocking on the door angrily
mike: and fumbling for the spare key.
taylor: haha
mike: i moved it from behind the plantpot to on top of the doorframe, but i don't think i can stall it much longer.
taylor: haha
taylor: try under the mat
mike: if i go out now it'll force it's way in!
taylor: under the mattress!
mike: THE KEY IS OUTSIDE
mike: that is the point of the spare key!
mike: IS THIS METAPHOR SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?
taylor: WELL
taylor: SLEEP WOULD NEVER LOOK FOR IT INSIDE
mike: hahaha
mike: but i left the key OUTSIDE.
mike: so if i go out to get it, sleep will get in!
taylor: it is attached to a string
taylor: or, doesn't everyone do that
mike: ...
mike: string?
taylor: yeah, now i'm just lying

[ ]

Friday, April 09, 2004

mike: but there's just one thing i don't get.
emily: what?
mike: unicorns.
mike: they're kind and gentle, right?
emily: What don't you get?
emily: NO MAN THEY ARE VICIOUS KILLERS
mike: so why do they have the horn? that to me suggests an aggressive race.
mike: EXACTLY.
emily: They are benevolent killers.
mike: if they pranced about being good all the time they wouldn't need to gore anyone!
mike: IE NO HORN.
emily: well, things like to kill them because they are pretty
emily: so it is a defense thing
mike: hmm
mike: even so, it's an agressive trait to have
emily: I disagree
emily: it's all about evolution, baby
mike: well if they were a gentler race surely they'd have developed faster speed or better camoflauge!
mike: the horn to me suggests that they have been bred for ATTACK.
emily: all their power lies in their horn!
mike: their power TO KILL.
emily: and heal!
emily: They have the power to both give and take life
emily: and they are immortal
emily: you think they'd be immortal if they were always running from their enemies or like .. hiding?
emily: NO MAN THEY MUST STRIKE FEAR INTO THEIR HEARTS
mike: hahaha
mike: i see!
emily: "Oh, let's not chase the unicorn because it might HIDE from us!"
mike: well, i guess that works but it's not really something you'd evolve to have.
emily: No, it's more like "Let's not chase the unicorn because it might GORE ME"
emily: well whatever
emily: that's why
mike: okay. well, thanks for clearing that up.
emily: no problem.

[ ]

Thursday, April 08, 2004

mike: you know that blue t-shirt i have with the captain america logo?
buffy: yes!
buffy: wait!
buffy: what does the logo look like?
mike: it's a white star
mike: with the circles around it
buffy: OH YES
mike: well
mike: i got that in america for FIVE DOLLARS.
buffy: i was getting captain america mixed up with captain planet. hehe! that is so good!
mike: hahaha
mike: captain planet
mike: i would so have wanted the fire ring.
buffy: HE'S OUR HERO
mike: he's gonna take pollution down to zero!
buffy: by your powers combined.....i am CAPTAIN PLANET
mike: hahaha
mike: that little kid must have been thinking "okay, earth, fire, wind, water... my ring has got to be something pretty freaking amazing to top that!"
mike: "what's this?"
mike: "heart?"
buffy: hahaha
mike: "what the hell am i supposed to do with this!"
buffy: poor sap
mike: you'd think that
buffy: he got the leftovers
mike: but then when puberty hits
mike: BAM
mike: he's the pimp of pimps.
buffy: haha!!!!!! YOU ARE AMAZING.
mike: girls everywhere flock to him like bees.
mike: wahwahwahwahwahwah (ring noise)
mike: LAYDEEZ EVERYWHEREZ
buffy: and he's all like "ladies, ladies, pleeeeeeease, you can ALL hold my laser pointer."
mike: hahaha
mike: yeah. i think it all worked out for that kid in the end.
mike: lucky bugger.

[ ]


doug - hogwashed.org tycho - penny-arcade.com corinne - maskerade.org.uk swifty - oh.destructo.org agie - ten23.net taylor - catchnet.org katie - snobhair.waferbaby daniel - sleeping.waferbaby flynn - snakeattack.com dandan - waferbaby.com lainey - cool pop judah - badwickedworld.com laini - lalalaini buffy - ferociouswalk nickd - nickd.org renee - bunnysuit matthew - flook.org matt - xxx.destructo emily - emily.waferbaby 07/13 - 07/19 07/20 - 07/26 08/10 - 08/16 08/17 - 08/23 08/24 - 08/30 08/31 - 09/06 09/07 - 09/13 09/14 - 09/20 09/21 - 09/27 09/28 - 10/04 10/05 - 10/11 10/12 - 10/18 10/19 - 10/25 10/26 - 11/01 11/02 - 11/08 11/09 - 11/15 11/16 - 11/22 11/23 - 11/29 12/07 - 12/13 12/21 - 12/27 01/04 - 01/10 01/11 - 01/17 01/18 - 01/24 01/25 - 01/31 02/01 - 02/07 02/22 - 02/28 03/28 - 04/03 04/04 - 04/10 04/11 - 04/17 05/23 - 05/29 05/30 - 06/05 07/11 - 07/17 02/06 - 02/12	Tuesday, February 08, 2005 mike: massages your shoulders okay champ! swifty: mmmmmmmm swifty: that's niiiiiiiice mike: you better get back in there, because this day is putting up a fight! but it's weak, it's tiring, it's not got the cajoles to stand up to you, because you're the king! you hear me? mike: now get out there and punch it out! swifty: your hands are magic swifty: you're a magician mike: LATER mike: fight first, sensual massage second! mike: you know that's how i roll! swifty: OK swifty: I'M IN THIS swifty: I CAN DO IT mike: GO GET 'EM TIGER mike: slaps your ass swifty: (STARTS PUNCHING A PHONE BOOTH) mike: that's my boy! mike: phone booth falls and crushes swifty swifty: ITS OK swifty: I'M OK mike: CAN YOU FIGHT? mike: holds towel I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY FIGHTER swifty: (TRANSFORMS INTO ROBOT) swifty: OH HELL YES I CAN FIGHT mike: DROPKICK.BAT mike: EXECUTE! swifty: HURFFFFF [ ] Wednesday, July 14, 2004 swifty: is because matt garber pointed out, and rightly so, that a video game website needs to have a forum where angry 15 year-olds can hang out and yell at each other mike: i don't! :/ swifty: that is fine! swifty: i will poke the internet gently with a stick swifty: and try to turn over some rocks mike: i will try and figure it out swifty: FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER: swifty: mike: hey, did you find that forum software swifty: swifty: WHAT I'M NOT LOOKING AT PORN GO AWAY swifty: GET OUT OF HERE, MOM mike: hahaha swifty: did i ever tell you about that swifty: when my mom walked in on me, uh, "rolling the croissant" swifty: not that you want to hear this! mike: hahaa, it wouldn't surprise me swifty: i was like GET THE HELL OUT swifty: and she started asking me questions swifty: like "do you do this a lot? when did you -- " swifty: and i was all I AM HOLDING MY PIECE IN MY HAND, KINDLY LET ME PUT PANTS ON swifty: and then i jumped out the window swifty: you know swifty: now that i think about it swifty: that isn't a very good story swifty: unless i tell it in person swifty: online it just sounds creepy swifty: I SWEAR IT'S FUNNY swifty: (sweats) swifty: (audience is silent) [ ] Wednesday, July 14, 2004 swifty: I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE GOOD AT DRAWING swifty: LIKE TWO YEARS AGO swifty: AND NOW LOOK swifty: YOU'RE WAY BETTER THAN ME swifty: AND I AM JEALOUS mike: hahaha mike: NO WAY swifty: YES WAY mike: swifty you rock at drawing. you are all DRAW DRAW DRAW A+ mike: and the kids are smiling. THEY SMILE FOR YOUR ART swifty: hahaha swifty: which kids! mike: OUR KIDS swifty: WAIT WHAT mike: i show them the pictures and tell them that DADDY DIED IN THE SHUTTLE DISASTER mike: what was i supposed to say? that you ABANDONED ME after our night of passion? swifty: HA HA HA HA HA mike: and MARIO VOICES? swifty: JFLKSGSLG swifty: oh my god swifty: how much are we going to use the mario voice mike: SO MUCH swifty: THE ANSWER IS SO MUCH [ ] Wednesday, July 14, 2004 swifty: did you draw that? mike: i did! swifty: it's AMAZING swifty: holy crap mike: haha, yeah? swifty: when did you become AMAZING mike: :) mike: it's a work in progress, but it's pretty close to finished mike: i'll show you some more! swifty: awesome! swifty: i've seen the rollercoaster one mike: oh right swifty: man you're all multitalented mike: did you see the stimpy one? swifty: you're going to be able to waltz into places swifty: and be (NO) like HEY GIVE ME A JOB swifty: I CAN DO EVERYTHING swifty: and they'll be like "okay can you beat up zangief" swifty: and you'll be like EVERYTHING EXCEPT THAT mike: hahaha swifty: HE WRESTLES BEARS [ ] Sunday, July 11, 2004 buffy: sorry for the delay! i had to go PEE mike: hahaha mike: in that case I AM SORRY. buffy: what are you sorry for! mike: not giving a lady the time to pee! mike: also: i was the second gunman on the grassy knoll mike: sorry about that america! buffy: .... buffy: yes. you should be sorry mike: all i have to do is mention bombs now and i'll have triggered enough marked words to have an fbi unit bust in here and take me away mike: looks around nervously buffy: bombs mike: NO! buffy: grenades mike: ducks and covers mike: ... mike: phew. false alarFBI UNIT BREAKS THROUGH WINDOW mike: mike is arrested and taken into custody mike: is being interrogated mike: attempts not to be broken by good cop/bad cop routine buffy: waits patiently mike: is released due to lack of evidence mike: walks home mike: returns to computer mike: hi! sorry about that buffy: YEAH mike: well hey! it's your fault! mike: you said bombs! mike: ..OH SHIFBI UNIT BREAKS THROUGH WINDOW mike: END. [ ] Tuesday, June 01, 2004 peter: just seen the new harry potter film and a little part of me died inside mike: haha peter: it really was that bad mike: that's fantastic [ ] Friday, May 28, 2004 mike: so, shall i send the picture? swifty: yes! swifty: firstly, because now i am curious swifty: and secondly, because i love boobies mike: haha, well curiousity is good! mike: and BOOBIES ARE AWESOME swifty: (RIDICULOUS GUITAR SOLO) swifty: (GOING ON FOR TOO LONG, FAR PAST ITS USE) mike: audience gets bored swifty: (GUITARIST SWEATING) mike: ONE LONELY ROCKER RAISES A FIST AND HEADBANGS swifty: S/ROCKER/MOTHER mike: hahaha mike: oh my god mike: ROCKER MOM [ ] Tuesday, April 13, 2004 taylor: so. hows that sleepin comin' along? mike: haha mike: it is knocking on the door angrily mike: and fumbling for the spare key. taylor: haha mike: i moved it from behind the plantpot to on top of the doorframe, but i don't think i can stall it much longer. taylor: haha taylor: try under the mat mike: if i go out now it'll force it's way in! taylor: under the mattress! mike: THE KEY IS OUTSIDE mike: that is the point of the spare key! mike: IS THIS METAPHOR SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND? taylor: WELL taylor: SLEEP WOULD NEVER LOOK FOR IT INSIDE mike: hahaha mike: but i left the key OUTSIDE. mike: so if i go out to get it, sleep will get in! taylor: it is attached to a string taylor: or, doesn't everyone do that mike: ... mike: string? taylor: yeah, now i'm just lying [ ] Friday, April 09, 2004 mike: but there's just one thing i don't get. emily: what? mike: unicorns. mike: they're kind and gentle, right? emily: What don't you get? emily: NO MAN THEY ARE VICIOUS KILLERS mike: so why do they have the horn? that to me suggests an aggressive race. mike: EXACTLY. emily: They are benevolent killers. mike: if they pranced about being good all the time they wouldn't need to gore anyone! mike: IE NO HORN. emily: well, things like to kill them because they are pretty emily: so it is a defense thing mike: hmm mike: even so, it's an agressive trait to have emily: I disagree emily: it's all about evolution, baby mike: well if they were a gentler race surely they'd have developed faster speed or better camoflauge! mike: the horn to me suggests that they have been bred for ATTACK. emily: all their power lies in their horn! mike: their power TO KILL. emily: and heal! emily: They have the power to both give and take life emily: and they are immortal emily: you think they'd be immortal if they were always running from their enemies or like .. hiding? emily: NO MAN THEY MUST STRIKE FEAR INTO THEIR HEARTS mike: hahaha mike: i see! emily: "Oh, let's not chase the unicorn because it might HIDE from us!" mike: well, i guess that works but it's not really something you'd evolve to have. emily: No, it's more like "Let's not chase the unicorn because it might GORE ME" emily: well whatever emily: that's why mike: okay. well, thanks for clearing that up. emily: no problem. [ ] Thursday, April 08, 2004 mike: you know that blue t-shirt i have with the captain america logo? buffy: yes! buffy: wait! buffy: what does the logo look like? mike: it's a white star mike: with the circles around it buffy: OH YES mike: well mike: i got that in america for FIVE DOLLARS. buffy: i was getting captain america mixed up with captain planet. hehe! that is so good! mike: hahaha mike: captain planet mike: i would so have wanted the fire ring. buffy: HE'S OUR HERO mike: he's gonna take pollution down to zero! buffy: by your powers combined.....i am CAPTAIN PLANET mike: hahaha mike: that little kid must have been thinking "okay, earth, fire, wind, water... my ring has got to be something pretty freaking amazing to top that!" mike: "what's this?" mike: "heart?" buffy: hahaha mike: "what the hell am i supposed to do with this!" buffy: poor sap mike: you'd think that buffy: he got the leftovers mike: but then when puberty hits mike: BAM mike: he's the pimp of pimps. buffy: haha!!!!!! YOU ARE AMAZING. mike: girls everywhere flock to him like bees. mike: wahwahwahwahwahwah (ring noise) mike: LAYDEEZ EVERYWHEREZ buffy: and he's all like "ladies, ladies, pleeeeeeease, you can ALL hold my laser pointer." mike: hahaha mike: yeah. i think it all worked out for that kid in the end. mike: lucky bugger. [ ]